David Carnahan is a junior majoring in the journalism track of communications

You already know about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. Your parents have probably already pushed the idea that "sex is supposed to be saved for marriage."

You have also probably already heard that God expects you to refrain from "sexual immorality" and to uphold the sanctity of marriage, so I won't belabor the point.

I do want to share with you, though, some very personal ways that premarital sex has shaped my life in the hope that it will convince you of its dangers.

Never in a zillion years would I regret having my son, whom I currently call "Shark Bait," plagiarizing "Finding Nemo." Having him out of wedlock, however, I do regret, as it has created a dual environment for him, as well as many other consequences. Having my son outside the commitment of marriage also solidified the differences that his mom and I have and, consequently led to our breakup. Additionally, both sides of the family have been affected by our absence of unity.

It breaks my heart every time I leave my son and his mother's house. My son stumbles to the door, arms open and crying, because he knows that his dad has to leave. Separation anxiety is inevitable for every young child, but I am not only leaving the house for a day of work, and he knows that. His mother and I are mere co-parents, as opposed to being "one big happy family."

When I was 18 years old, I moved to "party central," Central Washington University in Ellensburg, where I met my son's mother. Our relationship was rocky from the beginning, with us being inebriated a lot of the time. Eventually, I dropped out and moved home to Edmonds.

We attempted the long-distance relationship but it seemed as if our paths were going different ways. She then moved back home to Bellevue and despite knowing that we were moving in different directions, we would "hook up" every once in a while. Without any definite commitment, our status was confusing.

On Oct. 31, 2005, like the stereotypical mission seen in films, we went to Walgreen's and bought a half a dozen EPTs because we had a hunch. Sure enough, my son was growing inside of his mother, which a doctor later confirmed.

I was scared but more so suspicious. Since my son's mother and I were not married and our status was so vague, I questioned whether my son was mine up until a paternity test a couple of months after his birth. Of course, when I held him in my arms, I knew.

Following his birth, the custody and financial support proceedings took place, and I didn't try to fight his mother's preferences. She got full custody and I insisted and was obligated to pay half of day care, child support, doctors' bills and medical and dental insurance.

Our agreement also included me being able to spend time with him. These potential debates don't occur in marriage. They only occur in situations such as ours or in a divorce.

"Not being in a relationship with David has given me full custody of [my son]. Solely taking care of him, despite the brief time that David has him, has been very challenging for me," My son's mother said. Having full custody is no "walk in the park," she said.

To ease these circumstances, we have tried to work it out as more than friends several times. Our counter perspectives, however, on goals, parenting, morals and religion are too different and make this option fail every time attempted.

Not because of my son, but due to our separation, both of our personal lives have been affected. In trying to create a solid foundation for my son's well being and future outside of the context of marriage, both his mother and I have had to work a lot harder.

The company where my son's mother works requires an eight-to-five-o'clock schedule, Monday through Friday. This workload, along with full custody of my son, made it impossible for her to continue going to school and she had to withdraw. She has also not been able to do some of things she liked to in the past, such as frequently spending time with her friends.

Being in school full-time, working full-time and working with my son's mother to set up a schedule to meet with my son usually leaves me utilizing every minute of the 24-hour-day.

These are sacrifices we would not have had to make within a marriage context.

I have heard that when you marry someone, you also marry his or her family. Despite not being married, both sides of my son's family have had to come together as a result of the choices that my son's mother and me have made.

There have been a lot of disappointments and more sacrifices. Family members take time out of their lives to help us, but it can be difficult for them to do so. Also, there is a major lack of unity between the families, and this strain is felt often. Aside from my son's baptism and birthdays, our families don't have much in common, which may be confusing for my son regarding mannerisms, dos and don'ts, ethics and religion.

Pre-marital sex has definitely confused my walk with God. I knew what his expectations were but didn't follow them, which left me in a state of guilt and shame.

Despite all these negative consequences to pre-marital sex however, there is a light at the end of even this tunnel--God's grace.

My son's mother and I do have a strong, accommodating, and most of the time drama-less friendship, but this outcome may not speak for everybody. Despite the peace we have obtained, we still feel the repercussions.

If you are a virgin, I am not trying to be hypocritical but trying to warn you to maintain your tread on the path of purity. If you have already indulged, it is never too late start over. There may be some negative consequences but they are never so great that God can't help you through them, as he did with me.