Other than walking around Capitol Hill late at night, there is nothing that reminds me more of the great divide between the secular and Christian worlds than spring break.

Last spring break, I went on a mission trip.

Every other person my age, according to MTV, was having sex.

But where the tawdry month of March divides, it also does its fair share of bringing together -- in a cross-cultural, Dobson-approved way. For along with being the harbinger of spring break and alcohol poisoning, March also ushers in the NCAA basketball tournament.

This sports extravaganza brings people together in a way that few other legal events can. Granted, a lot of gambling takes place, but there is also a lot of bonding and sharing around hastily filled out brackets.

Sadly, although it is March 9, there are still eight more days before the tournament begins, meaning March Madness is more like Mid-March to Early April Madness.

But, have no fear, because while the tournament is still more than a week away, I have devised a way to satisfy bracket needs by committing my life to tournament play. Instead of betting on college basketball teams, for the next week feel free to bet on my life. And by bet, I mean make friendly, non-monetary wagers.

First off, there is finals week competition. As usual, I am trying to decide between studying and wasting time. Studying's benefits include good grades, parent's approval and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you do something good for yourself.

Procrastinating, on the other hand, offers free time, sleep and an opportunity to finish my Madden 2004 franchise.

Line: Studying +31, Wasting time

A more challenging gamble would be when my allergies will end. Oddly enough, I am allergic to the season of spring; so while trees are blooming and flowers are blossoming, my nose runs, and my eyes itch. The running count on my hay fever disease is three days so far, but all bets are off on when it will end.

Line: Allergies +/- 13 days

Next, I need to call my mom tomorrow, because it's been over a week since I've talked to her, and she probably thinks I have dropped out of school and am selling golf balls out of the back of my truck. (Speaking of which, the odds on that happening are 50:1.)

Phone conversations with my mom usually involve her asking me questions about what's going on, my replying in turn with safe, but encompassing answers, my asking what's going on there, her telling me "nothing," saying we love each other and hanging up. Where money can be made is on what questions she will ask. Here's a list:

How are your studies going?

Do you need any money?

Have you talked to your brother lately, and if yes, will you tell me everything he said to you because he never tells us anything?

How do you work the VCR?

I'm trying to access your student account through your school's website: What's your password?

Hopefully this will be enough to tide anyone over until the tournament begins. I know that my life is far from being as enthralling as big-time college basketball, but that's only because I grew up in Nampa, Idaho, and went to a private school for 12 years.

As it is, you'll have to settle for betting on things like when I'll wear that one blue shirt I have, how much time I'll spend looking for Christian music reviews, whether I'll spend my Friday night watching King of Queens reruns or doing a puzzle ...

And where I'll be doing mission work this spring break.