I can count the things that I am qualified to do on two hands.

First hand: playing minesweeper, working on a deadline, driving a truck, Bible quizzing and diagramming football plays.

Second hand: doing book reviews without reading the books, talking about my feelings, origami, folding T-shirts and being a sports fan.

I've found that most people my age have at least 10 hands worth of things they are qualified to do, 10th graders have eight and pre-kindergarteners have two hands plus half a foot.

But, as my mom always told me, especially when our conversations turned to athletic ability, "It's not what you have, but what you do with what you have."

And next to "look both ways before crossing the street" and an awkward conversation about the birds and the bees -- that is the best advice she has given me.

Therefore, my list of 10 capabilities might seem a little short, but it is definitely long on quality. Take, for example, my proficiency in minesweeper, which culminated in an 83-second finish on the expert level.

Or note my skillfulness in truck driving, as proven by only backing into one person in the year and a half I have owned my truck.

Unfortunately, this column is not a self-help guide to random things. If that were the case, then you guys would be in for a treat.

I can, however, shed some light into one of my specialties: being a sports fan.

Some might think this would be a fairly easy hobby, but rest assured that there is a lot that goes into it.

First off, a sports fan is not someone who simply watches sports. I glanced at a U.S. Weekly magazine once, and I was not enshrined into the fandom of pop culture. No, in order to be a sports fan one must completely immerse oneself in sports culture.

Here's an example: I spend more time on ESPN.com in a given day than I do swallowing.

Secondly, a sports fan must have a favorite team and faithfully root for that team. Simply picking a favorite team is not enough; that would be like my saying I am a fan of French toast but never eating French toast, never making French toast and never pushing to have French toast on the menu in Gwinn more often. True fans support their teams to the end.

Case in point: My friend Nick and I flew home last quarter to see our beloved Boise State Broncos play. We covered our faces in face paint, put on funny wigs and hats, wore Boise State colors and screamed and yelled at every opportunity we had.

We yelled when we walked into the stadium; we screamed when the Broncos first took the field. We yelled when Boise State scored its first, second and third touchdowns. We screamed when the girl behind us threw up. And we yelled some more at referees, opposing players and fellow fans.

In this example, four things happened that provided indisputable evidence that Nick and I were true fans: We traveled a long distance to a game, we painted a part of our body, we yelled and screamed whenever we could and vomit was involved (granted, not our own, but we'll take it).

A third aspect of being a sports fan is buying things. Just like you can tell a metrosexual fan by his affinity for square-toed shoes, you can identify sports fans by their gaudy, one-size-too-large attire.

For instance: I own the first two New England Patriots Super Bowl DVDs, and I am on the waiting list for the third. I have more Boise State T-shirts than Acting on AIDS has Orphan shirts. I bought Patriots wallpaper. I sleep on NFL pillowcases. The first thing I will buy when I get my own house is NFL Sunday Ticket and a TiVo.

Three requirements for being a sports fan might not seem like much, but rest assured that these three do not come easily.

Immersion requires a lot of free time and great determination -- both of which I have in deep supply.

Loyalty to a certain team calls for unlimited devotion and creativity -- check and check.

And buying things demands endless amounts of money -- nothing that a high-paying job couldn't handle.

Thankfully, there's a market for college graduates with skills in diagramming football plays and talking about feelings.