I am not a whore.

Despite what some of you may have read on my whiteboard, heard in dinner conversation, and/or joked about in passing, I have a legitimate, non-degrading job, thank you very much.

Violence is fun.

Before you saddle up and mount your purebred high horse of indignity, consider this: science has proven objectively that the funniest thing in the universe is somebody getting hit in the nuts, perhaps by a football or a 777 jumbo jet.

Knife smuggling. Elaborate heists. Thieves everywhere you look. You’d think we were at a correctional facility.

Nope. Just a private Christian university.

After reading the "Doors close on DMD concert" article from Feb. 27, I am nothing short of alarmed.