The Falcon | Volume 83, Issue 52
Published 5/22/13 | Log In
Christians put a lot of pressure on themselves while dating
By KATE MORGAN, Staff Reporter
Published: November 28, 2012
I recently discovered that only 3 percent of students at Seattle Pacific do not plan on getting married. I am not surprised, considering the SPU culture in which we push marriage onto ourselves. This statistic cemented the opinion that I already had: students need to stop making dating so scary and serious.
A gender distribution of around 30 percent of male students and around 70 percent of female students make up our campus. With a percentage like that, men have better luck with dating because they have so many options.
According to SPU psychology professor Dr. Parrott, 39 percent of SPU students say they would like to be in a serious dating relationship right now, 31 percent say they already are and 4 percent say they would not like to be. What is even more surprising is that 48 percent say they have someone in mind at the moment that they would like to date, but have not actually made a move to tell that person.
With a percentage so high, I am shocked that people have not taken the plunge and asked their person of interest to coffee — a casual comfort zone for many people. Most students are not looking for a fun get-to-know-you date based on the seriously-seeking-a-mate culture that envelops SPU.
According to the statistics, most are looking for that one person that they will spend the rest of their lives with.
One student said that, “‘the ring-by-spring’ phenomenon is obviously intimidating, and the fact that people who don’t even go to SPU know about it is crazy.”
While another student who is in a relationship said, “When you are dating someone at SPU, people always ask, ‘oh, ring by spring?’”
I sure hope that the women of SPU did not come to school for an MRS degree: the goal to get married versus getting an education. Wanting to find your future spouse is not a bad thing, but you should be able to both get an education and date.
I believe that SPU students are scared to date because of how much pressure has been put on dating from the ring-by-spring phenomenon. Women and men search the campus for that one “perfect someone” so that they can have the ring by spring.
One SPU junior said, “I am glad I came into SPU already in a relationship with someone who does not go here. I would not have wanted that kind of pressure in the beginning of my relationship.”
I love going to a Christian school, but I think that the Christian label makes people feel more obligated to be seriously finding the one person God has for them. They may not see or enjoy the relationships he might be laying right in front of them.
Dating does help you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. SPU is a great place to find people with similar morals and beliefs, especially if you are a Christian. But this is a great place to meet lots of people, not just “the one.” My mom always tells me that every person you meet helps you figure out what you want in the end.
There are so many great men and women on this campus. Why would you be focused on only meeting one? In a sense, don’t just sit, waiting and analyzing every single person you meet to see if they fit into your “Mr./Mrs. Perfect” category and then ask them out.
Dating is not meant to be this high-pressure, intense activity; it is supposed to be fun and easy. So pack away the MRS degree, and cash it in for a casual dinner and a movie.
Kate Morgan is a sophomore pre-nursing major.