The Falcon   |   Volume 83, Issue 53

Published 5/29/13   |   Log In

Normal sexualities can be had

Women could learn about sex elsewhere

By CHRISTINE COOK, Guest Reporter

Published: November 14, 2012

It is true that as humans, we are created as sexual beings. Furthermore, it is true that by exploring and understanding sexuality, a person can better understand themselves.

However, the book Fifty Shades of Grey should be in no way used as an educational resource on sex.

One of the first things I would like to say is that I have not read this novel. This can be partially attributed to having better things to do with my time, but mostly because, based on the excerpts I have read, I find its contents disturbing.

A few weeks ago, one of the regular customers I serve as a barista asked me if I had read the trilogy. When I told her no, she said that whether or not I would enjoy the book came down to the question of whether or not I liked sex.

However, I see no correlation between sex and the abuse that takes place in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Omitting the hope that sex includes love, it more basically does not include being struck by canes or signing non-disclosure contracts.

We all have guilty pleasures. I myself enjoy reading the occasional Nicholas Sparks book. If a person enjoys reading this graphic trilogy, more power to them. But these books are in no way a realistic representation of sexuality. Furthermore, BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism) should not be something people aims for in achieving a healthy sexuality, especially when they are exploring their sexuality at the most basic level (as many college -age women are).

It is an accurate statement that many women at SPU feel discomfort in talking about sex. As adults, we should be able to speak about sexual concepts with more ease.

But the concern that SPU women (and young women in general) should be less squeamish about grown-up things has no correlation to reading a novel which depicts an abusive sexual relationship. In contrast, I would hope that most women would be spared ever experiencing something as traumatizing and, honestly, downright freaky as BDSM.

In her video “Fifty Shades of WTF,” YouTube personality Laci Green commented on the unhealthy depiction of sex in the novel.

“The entire series is her trying to cure him of his one flaw … at the heart of the story line is this idea that if you’re patient enough, kind enough, and you say and do the right things, that you can fix your f***** up lover, and in the scariest scenarios, that you can fix your abuser.”

This book should be taken for what it is: a laughable and creepy fan fiction spin off of Twilight, (yes, the characters were originally named Bella Swan and Edward Cullen) which was written by what seems to be a sexually frustrated middle-aged woman. More importantly, it should not be seen as an educational resource on sex.

If SPU women care to open up the idea of sex, why don’t they just engage in conversation about it? Ask a friend: “Hey, you’ve had sex. What’s that like?” Or even simpler, open up your anatomy textbook and have a gander.

Being aware of your sexuality is important. Being aware of your limits, wants and needs, is also important. However, it is more than possible to achieve this without reading about whips, chains and cane spankings.

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