The Falcon   |   Volume 83, Issue 53

Published 5/29/13   |   Log In

Sexual activities should be OK'ed

University's clause on pre-marital sex lacks facts, reason

By CHRISTO LUTE, Opinions Writer

Published: January 26, 2011


Among the list of activities that could result in disciplinary action for all Seattle Pacific students is “cohabitation and related forms of premarital, extramarital or homosexual sexual activities.”

This rule is arguably guided and reinforced by the university’s Statement on Human Sexuality, which states, “We believe it is in the context of the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman that the full expression of sexuality is to be experienced and celebrated and that such a commitment is part of God’s plan for human flourishing.”

The trouble is, neither the sexual activity clause in the Student Life Handbook nor the Statement on Human Sexuality lists any legitimate reasons, other than social and theological assumptions about sexuality, as to why sex ought to be restricted to marriage.

My university restricts sexual activity for all non-married students. I would hope that more than mere beliefs could be provided for this restriction. If reasons can be provided, I would be happier for it. If not, then I propose that this rule be abolished.

Before I begin with that argument, though, I will clarify two issues: First, I do not condone adultery, not because sexual activity is wrong, but rather because most marriages are assumed to be monogamous; adultery is a violation of that particular agreement. Second, I will not be discussing homosexuality, as the main point of this argument is non-marital sex, meaning sexual practice outside of marriage.

To begin, the university prefaces its statement on human sexuality with the words, “We believe.” Speaking as a philosopher, belief does not make a fact, though we may sometimes wish it did.

Is it indeed a fact that the “full expression” of sex can only be found in marriage? No evidence is given in the statement to suggest this to be the case.

Why should it be the case? The activity of sex within marriage mirrors the activity of sex outside of marriage -- the difference is the level of commitment we ascribe to a marital relationship as opposed to other relationships. Still, considering the high divorce rate in the United States, even this level of commitment is flexible.

And, although I have heard it suggested that the Bible states we should not have sex outside of marriage because it is a sin, I cannot find the verse to which people are referring. In fact, I think the Bible has very little to say about non-marital sex.

We often tend to read verses, such as Hebrews 13:4, “God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins,” as though they had the addendum, “and non-marital sex is a sin.” But the text of this particular verse does not have that addendum at all.

Sometimes the Greek word “porneia,” as found in 1 Corinthians 6:18, is translated as “fornication.” This is a splendid translation, since it relates the term to wrongful sexual activity, like adultery and prostitution.

The problem comes in deciding whether non-marital sex should be classified as “fornication.” If it is, then it is not Scripture that is doing the defining here, because “porneia” does not define what wrongful sexual activity includes.

Another common trope is anecdotal evidence of emotional pain and suffering caused by consensual sex. Although things like that happen, in some of these anecdotal cases, it seems the guilt about having had sex is the chief source of damage, not the sexual act itself.

The sense of guilt associated from having had sex before marriage can be especially tremendous for those raised in environments where sex was condemned. This guilt has as much, if not greater, potential to corrode relationships and one’s psychological well being in comparison to the mythologized pain and suffering rooted in sex.

For others, fear of pregnancy is one of the chief reasons to avoid non-marital sex, and for part of this approach to sexual activity, I agree. Pregnancy is a big deal, but I would also point out the tremendous options for birth control, whether condoms, pills, diaphragms, spermicides or emergency contraceptive options. I will not sugarcoat it: All of these options are largely effective options for avoiding pregnancy, even if some of them are controversial.

Additionally, fear of pregnancy does not constitute a sufficient reason to restrict others from partaking in sexual activity. I am afraid of heights, but those who want to hike mountains and skydive are welcome to do so.

Still, I make no claim that I have explored every argument against non-marital sex. I know there are theological and social arguments to be made, but I am convinced that those other reasons will be no more sufficient for making a case against non-marital sex than the ones above.


Comments

Jonathan said:
I would like to correct the writer of this article. Hebrew's 13:4 does indeed have an addendum. Prior to being able to understand Hebrews 13:4, you must understand the original audience Hebrews 13:4 is addressing; Jewish Believers. Then you must define what Jews consider sexually immoral behavior to be. Therefore we refer to the only set of scriptures the Jews had in the 1st Century, the Old Testament. We find in the Torah an appropriate definition of what God (and therefore the Jews) holds to be sexual immorality in Deuteronomy 22:13-21. We can extrapolate from the text that an unmarried woman who had sex prior to marriage is punishable by stoning for sexual misconduct. We now understand that the Bible does in fact condemn sex before marriage, and this is upheld in both the Old and the New Testaments. As this is a Christian university, I do not see any reason for Seattle Pacific University to betray such a basic Biblical fundamental in order to make people feel better about having extramarital sex.
Alina said:
Leviticus 19:1: The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: 'Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.'"

You can find complete sexual freedom at UW if that's what you want. But aside from the very "legitimate reasons" of pregnancy and STDs (which are easy for you as a guy to brush off and against which NO birth control is guaranteed protection), if you're following God and believing what He says in His Word, He's pretty explicit about what sexual holiness means. The Bible doesn’t talk about skydiving. But, far from having “very little to say about non-marital sex,” it is full of repeated instructions about it: DON’T. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “fornication” is “voluntary sexual intercourse between a man (in restricted use, an unmarried man) and an unmarried woman.” And according to the Bible, it’s harmful, a sin against God, the other person, and yourself. These are more than "social and theological assumptions about sexuality." This is what God SAYS. Whether or not you choose to believe and obey it is your choice.

Exodus 22:16: "If a man seduces a virgin...and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife." (intended context of sex is marriage)
Leviticus 18--full of instructions on do's and do-not's about sex. See consequences in ch. 20.
John 8:1-11. Jesus loved and spared the woman caught in adultery, but clearly told her "Go now and leave your life of sin" (v. 11).
1 Cor. 5:11. "But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral..."
6:9. "Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
6:18. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
7:8-9. “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried…but if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (sex belongs in the context of marriage)
Gal. 5:19. “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery”
Col. 3:5. “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.
Heb. 13:4, which you partially quoted: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Rev. 21:8 (Jesus’ own words). “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral…their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Look up the word "prostitute" in a concordance. This is what God thinks of non-marital sex. It's not Him hating on people. It's Him keeping His people 'holy,' set apart, and protecting them from the emotional, physical, mental, and relational scarring of sex without the commitment of marriage. You can choose not to obey. But not at SPU if it's going to stay a Christ-following university.
Krista said:
Let's just look at this realistically, please. Think about the reputation SPU would receive if all of the sudden they took out sexual activities in Lifestyle Expectations.
Also, I'm not going to sugar coat this because it's the truth: if people want to indulge in sexual activities, they will find a way. Take, for example, someone who partied and drank alcohol in high school- our hope is that they will stop once they come to SPU because of Lifestyle Expectations, but we know this is not the case for most of these people. If they want to partake in drinking, they will find a way. Just like they will if they already have a desire for various sexual activities. We tend to think and like to believe that that's not true, but let's be realistic: not everyone is perfect (but not saying that SPU is trying to breed "perfect" people).
ChUck said:
Krista -- rather than seeking out kids who like to party and making them stop when they come to college, I think SPU's Lifestyle Expectations were put in place to attract students who aren't interested a "party school" atmosphere in the first place.

You are correct in saying that people will find ways to do what they want, rules or no. But I am not clear on what your argument is, beyond that. Are you saying, "People will break these rules anyway, so let's just do away with them"?

That would be kind of like saying that bankers, Wall Street traders, and corporate executives will find ways to rip people off no matter what the rules are ... so let's just deregulate them. You already know how well THAT turned out.
Patricia said:
“To us it has been given to see the glory of God’s love and mercy in the face of Jesus Christ; it is a terrible thing if we then choose the ways of earth.” ~William Barclay
DouglasGwinn said:
Seattle Pacific has sunk to a new low. When I attended back in the '70s the students, by and large, were intent on following Christ and adhering closely to His Word. Now, you have people advocating free sex on campus and you have a gay & lesbian group approved by the administration. It appears that your campus has gone beyond the point of no return in seeking immorality instead of godliness. I wash my hands of your collective spiritual negligence, of which, I do realize there are notable exceptions, but the prevailing immoral attitude is shocking! Douglas Gwinn, Class of 1979
ElleLeBeau said:
Firstly, this in an opinion piece - everyone has an opinion an out to be free to express that. Secondly, this opinion has merit, but perhaps isn't as fully justified or as well-reasoned as it could be. All that being said, here comes another opinion (supported by logic, and with a story to go with it):

I was a student at SPU not long ago, and I definitely was aware of my fellow students breaking the Lifestyle Expectations. I myself didn't adhere to all the rules all the time. (No one can - we're all fallen, we all break rules, we all sin.)

The problem with the wording of the lifestyle expectations is this: It's too vague. The issue lies in the wording, 'full expression of sexuality.' If the University wants to forbid premarital sex, that is its prerogative. However, there needs to be a clear definition of what is and isn't 'sex.' It's the problem of the old question, 'How far is too far?' Is holding hands okay? How about kissing (closed-mouth, open-mouth, tongue)? Touching? The problem lies in the fact that the line between acceptable sexual activity and what is considered 'sex' is not clear, and it really cannot be made clear.

And as I do not begrudge anyone his own opinion (I have many of my own), it is discouraging to be a Christian, to be in community with other believers, and to have that community choose to close itself off with judgmental, narrow-minded, hurtful, and hating behaviour. We are called to Love. The two greatest commandments are to Love God, and to Love our neighbours (Matthew 22:37-39). It is not our place to judge. It <b>is</b> our place to love. And Love is patient, kind, does not anger, and keeps no record of wrongs done (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). We should focus on that rather than pointing out all the ways our neighbours are sinning. I'm not a saint, and it is purely hypocrisy for me to expect anyone else to be any better than I.
ChUck said:
Elle -- You have a college education and you still need someone to tell you what sex is? Really?

Contrary to what passes for popular belief, Elle, it IS possible to get all the way through an SPU education while upholding the lifestyle expectations. It can be done. It has been done. Is being done. May even continue to be done.

It is true that the greatest commandment is to love God. People love to remind us of that. However, I have yet to see anyone explain how it is possible to LOVE God without taking the slightest interest in OBEYING God.
ELSA68 said:
You know, this article is several months old but I feel I need to say something as a alumni. I graduated from SPU in 1992. Why should the rules of the Lifestyles Contract be changed or the Statement on Human Sexuality? If you do not like the rules, transfer to another university. SPU is a Christian university, not just a private university. It is not unloving or un-Christian to call out sinful behavior. We are commanded to be holy, just as Christ is holy. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit if you are a Christian. There is nowhere in the Scriptures in the Old or New Testaments that state that sex outside of heterosexual marriage is acceptable. While I am happy that they are discussing issues related to LGBT students, if they "act out" their sexuality, they are sinning.

In 1990, we had a Hoedown with squaredancing during Homecoming Week. There were no dances at SPU back then (not sure about now)and this really did bother some alumni enough that they wrote in the the Response and stated they would not longer donate to the University. If SPU continues down the path of recognizing homosexuality or lowers its longtime standards of heterosexual behavior, this will happen--many alumni will not longer give to the University. Just something for current students and faculty to ponder...
Jenna said:
SPU is a Christian university, built on Christian beliefs. I think we could all agree that most Christians do not agree with pre-marital sex. ((There are already a bunch of verses above, so I'm not going to throw in a bunch of bible verses.)) Does SPU really need facts to support this rule? It's their rule...they're a Christian university. Anyway, I am sure there are lots of facts that could be used to back up this rule. (Facts involving STD rates, pregnancy rates, etc.) I don't think that they are necessary; I'm just saying they could be used.

When you apply to SPU, you know what the expectations are. It's fine to disagree with them...but it just seems silly to me to apply to a school if you have such an issue with the rules and expectations. There are lots of other schools you could go to that have no problem with their students having pre-marital sex.

SPU has a safe, wonderful campus, and I attribute much of the awesome environment to it's lifestyle expectations and rules. I appreciate the expectations.

I'm agnostic and sin all the time and have broken a lot of rules at SPU. I still agree with their expectations.
unbubbleable said:
If someone does or doesn't believe in Jesus or the bible it is not fair to say that you are sinning or not sinning because they do not believe in that. That being said... SPU is indeed outdated on many of their lifestyle rules and need to be re-evaluated. You should be aware of them like Jenna said and be respectful of them no matter what you believe and remember that you are only there for about two-four years.

Also, SPU lies and acts hippocratic about many things not just the sex stuff. Such as the 0% for no rape/attacks/sexual assault. BOLD FACED LIE! Want to know how many male teachers check out my rack? All but two since I started here a year ago and I dress conservatively.

By the way the 70's are gone and the way to reach people is by learning about their culture and finding a way to engage them at there level. Jesus hung out with hookers and liars all the time. He never "washed his hands of them".
ChUck said:
"Not fair" to say an unbeliever is sinning? Unbelief is a sin too, you know.
ChUck said:
Oh, and checking out your rack = sexual assault? Really?

Name me an instance where Jesus hung out with a hooker ... i.e., one time when he went someplace where he knew he could find a hooker, just so they could, like, hang out, and chill, and stuff.
blairfowler said:
It’s true that SPU blatantly lies about the number of assaults/rapes/attacks on campus. I was a victim of assault last year on campus and all of the higher-ups where aware of this. I went to dozens of meetings, had my statement taken by 3 different people multiple times for what happened to me last year. SPU’S answer? They offered to give me free room and board anywhere on campus so that I would feel “safe”. They even threw in a "restraining order" but still SPU’s website makes no mention of the assault that happened against me or any of the other assaults I KNOW have happened to a number of my peers. After it was all said and done, I felt bribed- and no, I didn’t take any of their misguided offers. I chose to raise hell on this campus instead. Although I rose hell there was nothing I could do about what happened to be because this school made me back down. No matter how many emails I shot off or how many meetings I demanded be made ( as they were quite reluctant to schedule them with me) their “hands were tied” and they couldn’t even justify their actions even though they kept telling me that my safety was their top priority. My safety was never their concern it was what I could do to their image if it ever got out.
I wish the Alumni of SPU would be more concerned with the little regard that is shown to the women of this University instead of the sex we might be having. I wish the Alumni would threaten ( like @elsa68 mentioned) to stop throwing money at this school until appropriate measures were taken to keep us safe instead of keeping their image safe. Is that too much to ask, SPU? Keep us safe.

- Blair
ChUck said:
Blair ... sorry to hear about this. Did you file a police report?

Which page on the SPU website would be the appropriate place to mention what happened to you? Kindly refer us to pages on other university websites reporting statistics on sexual assault.
ChUck said:
To bring things back around to the original topic: If SPU changed its policy to allow sexual activity and drinking, how do you think that would affect the number of on-campus sexual assaults reported to Security?
Pete said:
http://www.spu.edu/depts/security/has.asp#CrimeStatistics

It's unfortunate that the alumni are so focused on this issue. Somehow I doubt SPU was all so perfect and pure, back in the day. That people are willing to discuss it and even discuss the issue doesn't indicate that current classes are any less moral than those of '79 or '92.
ChUck said:
Unfortunately we don't have morality statistics, so we can't compare one class to another. And we don't know that discussions like this didn't take place back in '79 either. I can certainly attest that they took place in '92.

And why are you opposed to alumni being focused on issues that are of concern to students? What issues would you prefer alumni to focus on?

Thanks for posting the link to crime stats; I found it a while back after posting the question above.

Again, I'd like to see stats from other universities, particularly nonsectarian ones, if they are published.

Furthermore, if there actually is reason to believe that the statistics on SPU's site are falsified, why doesn't the Falcon conduct an investigation? That would be a worthier pursuit than much of the fluff it's been publishing lately.
Allana said:
Wow, I'm so glad I decided not to go to SPU. At least UW doesn't try to police my private life.
Anna said:
Douglas Gwinn,

How about instead of condemning people who hold different opinions from you, you extend grace towards them as Jesus would do? And SPU Haven is a group for gays, lesbians, and friends of gays and lesbians to get together and have a safe place to talk. Members of SPU Haven hold different opinions from each other, but what they have in common is their love and compassion for members of the LGBT community. Is there something wrong with that? We also have a group on campus called Sophia which gets together and discusses women's rights and gender equality. Some people hold different views about women in church leadership than others do, but Sophia is a safe place for everyone to discuss these views without fear of judgment. How is this any different from SPU Haven?

I beg you, please extend love and compassion towards gays, lesbians and anyone who you disagree with or think is a "sinner". Your judgment turns people away from the truth and grace found in Jesus Christ.

Also, my uncle attended SPU in the 70's and he smoked pot and drank a lot. Maybe the SPU community wasn't as pure as you thought.
Delong said:
I LOVE going to SPU and I respect their code of rules! I don't think SPU is trying to police peoples' private lives at all.
Jen G said:
Let's be real about three things here: folks who try to police the private and sexual lives of others are usually those who hold power, but are scared. And two: a whole lotta folks at SPU act gay, sleep gay, and are gay, but call themselves straight until they leave. Three: There is way more coitus activity taking place on that campus than anybody realizes. If walls could talk.

The opinions represented here do not necessarily represent the views of The Falcon or Seattle Pacific University.

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