The Falcon | Volume 83, Issue 52
Published 5/22/13 | Log In
Why aurally adept students make best dating picks
By CHRISTO LUTE, Opinions Writer
Published: March 10, 2010
Dating is a big deal on a college campus. Most of us, whether we admit it or not, are checking each other out, testing personalities with people and ultimately, looking to hold hands with someone.
Some things are a turn off, such as sleezy moustaches or enormous $200 limited-edition Dolce and Gabanna sunglasses. Other things are a turn on, such as advocating against abject poverty or Frisbee skills.
In the best case scenario, we want a mate who is personable, talented and passionate. Considering all the complex desires that one seeks in a mate, I have come to the conclusion that the best sort of people to date are music majors.
Reason No. 1: Music majors tend to be highly in-tune with concerts or events going on at Seattle Pacific and in Seattle. Need to know when Fleet Foxes are playing in Seattle? Don't worry, your music major mate knows each concert going on in Seattle for the next month. Not only that, but he or she probably has tickets and probably knows how to get you backstage.
Reason No. 2: Music majors are smarter than the average college student.
In 1997, psychologist Francis Rauscher, Ph.D. and neuroscientist Robert Shaw, Ph.D., presented findings suggesting that listening to Mozart can increase one's IQ by as much as nine points. Now, imagine that one's music major squeeze has been listening to Mozart, Mahler and Bach since her or his early years. One can only suspect immersion in such composers has produced a brain geared toward intelligence.
Reason No. 3: The motivation for dating music majors over others is an effect I have written about in many faux philosophical journals: lyrical amnesia and the moral effects on the human condition.
Have you ever had a song pop into your head but cannot remember some of the lyrics, which in turn starts to drive you a little insane? In an underappreciated add-on to his triumphant "Critique of Pure Reason," 18th century philosopher Immanuel Kant logically deduced that such a situation is the worst moral condition a person can find themselves in. Lucky for you, music majors have listened to hundreds of songs, making their brains a mental library stocked with lyrics to redeem one's moral failing. Snag yourself a music major and cure your lyrical amnesia today.
Reason No. 4: Their supreme ability to woo you with their obligatory amazing voices. How many of you are like me in wanting someone to serenade you? As the great Socrates never said, "Music is the root of all sexiness." What more could we look for in a mate who knows how to simultaneously entrance us with their gorgeous singing voice and their impressive piano playing?
Reason No. 5: Their Goliath music collections. You want to hear music hailing from the city of Birmingham in 1977? Fear not, your newly acquired boyfriend or girlfriend probably has a half a dozen albums to choose from. Want something a little different than the Jonas Brothers? Relax. Your musician companion will show you the errors of your ways with a main course of Led Zepplin and dash of Beethoven.
Do you sing out of pitch? Ashamed that you only know three chords on guitar? Is your knowledge of music limited to "Hot Cross Buns" on the recorder? This is not a problem.
Reason No. 6: Their infectious passion for music -- good, bad or ugly. Sure, music majors hate Lady Gaga. Why? Not because they haven't listened to her music, but because they care so much about music's reputation that they can scarcely call Lady Gaga a musician.
In comparison, your miserable singing voice is a sweet melody to your musical suitor.
Business majors make money, pre-med majors get to cut things open, philosophy majors may be able to convince you to date them, at least in theory, but can any of them sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" in a way that makes you swoon? I think not. As a result, I think you'd be silly not to get coffee with that cute music major you keep day dreaming about.