As the sun set one beautiful evening last week, I couldn’t help but think that I have a lot in common with the largest star in our galaxy.
For one, I am hot.
Also, similar to solar vapor, I give off an alluring air that is equal parts confidence and Old Spice Red Zone.
But the greatest metaphorical similarity that Kevan Lee, sports writer, shares with Sun, astrological hot thing, is that both of us, in due time, will set.
For the sun, it makes its daily farewell stage west, every evening. For me, saying goodbye is a first with this being my last sports column for the Falcon.
Scientifically speaking, although the sun sets, life still goes on. And regardless of this farewell column, the sports world will continue as well.
Not much changed from the way things were before despite everything I brought to the sports scene (humor, grace, misspellings, ). That is why I can say with confidence that things will remain the same after my departure.
Athletes will still be overpaid.
Owners will still hoard money.
The Patriots will still win Super Bowls.
And somewhere, I will have a take on it all.
I will riddle the players with well-timed barbs on greed. I will chide the owners by using clever alliteration for their thrifty thievery. And I will praise myself for the Patriots’ success.
In fact, as a rule of thumb, here is a sentence that you can use to capture my opinion on virtually any sports occurrence:
"It’s funny how (event) was like the time I (verb) in high school with my (adjective) friends even though my mom told me I should never <verb>."
It’s kind of like a pathetic mad lib.
At first, it came as quite a letdown that sports would be the same without me. I was used to seeing things fall apart and cease to exist after I left, much like they did when I left my Lego city at the age of 18.
I found consolation elsewhere, though. For even though sports will go on, there is no denying the imprint I will leave on this newspaper.
Before my arrival at this school, I had never even heard of The Falcon. But only three years later, I eat, drink and breathe it — mostly because I’m graded on it, somewhat because it looks good on a resume and a little bit because someone told me that writing for The Falcon gets you girls.
Apparently, people have noticed all the hard work and energy that I have put into this space every week. Fellow students tell me that my column is the second thing they read, right after the Security Blotter. More than one faculty member has recognized me in class as "that punk kid who writes about himself in the newspaper." My mom is super proud of me.
But that’s not all. Routinely, I see people around campus shouting, "I’ll miss you!" No wait, actually they’re shouting, "You’ll miss me." Hmm, come to think of it, I’m really the one doing the shouting. But at any rate, myself, students and missing someone are all happening together.
With three years of hard work, I have earned myself a reputation as a better than average writer who occasionally manages to entertain.
And deservedly so, might I add. I cannot tell you how many nights I stayed up writing until the wee hours of the morning, nor can I list the number of times I have neared completion of my article only to throw it out and start over again.
So while the sports world will be fine without me, I guess the question remains: will The Falcon?
My editor tells me yes.
Well then how about all my loyal fans?
They both tell me they can read old Dave Barry columns.
Apparently she’ll love me no matter what.
And what about me?
Well, the sun does always rise again.
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Original Metadata about the article can be found below
Title: The Runaround | Author: Kevan Lee | Section: Sports | Published Date: 2005-06-01 | Internal ID: 4584