International court soccer

Has soccer lost its draw? Are you in search of a newer, quicker, more intense kicking-related sport? If so, then look no further. Thanks to a man named John Birks, it’s here. Birks, after kicking around a volleyball in a racquetball court, has come up with a new sport he has officially dubbed International Court […]

Sport Report

Even though baseball has been supplanted by other sports as our national pastime, it still captures the imagination of American youth during the summer. Children grow up cheering for their favorite teams and emulating their favorite players. Baseball still portrays all that is right with America, right down to the sacrifice bunt and apple pie. […]

Gymnasts top Aggies for second time

The Falcon gymnasts flipped their way to their second victory in a row against the University of California Davis Aggies during a home competition Friday night. The Falcons grabbed the lead early by nailing five for six in their first rotation on vault. The team continued to build momentum, fueled by strong performances from sophomore […]

Every problem solved

The following are real questions from an imaginary populace of students that inhabits an imaginary place called Surreptitiously Pedantic University. Unfortunately, a plague of puzzlement has swept across their campus. I have, in horror, watched students with bug-eyed looks of terror flipping violently through textbooks and turning them upside down before launching them violently at […]

Staff Editorials

The university has recently been making a large effort to deal with important issues in student life. Last week, numerous students attended several forums and chapels dealing with sexual issues; this week, body image is being tackled as a part of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. This is a good thing. These are relevant issues […]