The phone system being our primary function, we, the Uni-Com employees, receive hundreds of calls a day.

With that in mind, there are a few calls that are bound to be at least somewhat amusing. In light of this, we have recorded a few of them for your entertainment.

The real irony is that these calls represent you, the caller. So sit back, relax and revel in your own hilarity.

"Yes, could I please speak to Professor James Bond?"


"Hi, one of the washing machines on 4th Hill is broken, can you come and fix it?"

"Hi, can you tell me if Greenland is its own country, or is it owned by another nation?"

"Can I help you?"

"YEESH Bading dang dong shkool da binness?"


"I was wondering if you could get me the number for foxy love?"

"Do you need to be smart to go to SPU?"

"Will you turn the light off on my phone?"

"Is Annie there?"

"Annie who?"

"We don’t know her last name — are there lots of Annies there?"

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Title: Leftovers | Author: Opinions Staff | Section: Opinions | Published Date: 1999-02-24 | Internal ID: 502